Spring Brings Hope

Happy Easter to all those that celebrate!

Easter flashback photo - this is from 2018. Taken in the living room at my sister Cindy's house in Gill. Mike, Colin and I will head that way for dinner later this afternoon.

I got back a few hours ago from a drizzly Easter sunrise service- where the sun did not rise. Well that is not true- from where we stood we were unable to see it. Pastor Bobby reminded the group of us there- that the light is always there even in the darkness. We just have to believe.

The house is quiet as I sit here to finally get a blog post done. I will actually be putting two up hopefully before the morning is done as I owe you all some information from our 2nd McCarthy Brothers Bond Ski weekend up at Mt. Sunapee with NEHSA.

Pastor Bobby's reminder of the light being there even in the darkness was just what I needed to hear today. If you know me, you know I am all about keeping the light of those who have died shining. My favorite way to do that is by talking about Shane and others, sharing stories, glancing back at photos and just remembering that even thought not physically here- they are everywhere we are. The winter months are tough- Shane's death, the holidays, the birthdays, the challenging weather, the fluctuating schedule of workers as they all navigate colds and illnesses among their own families. I again got out of sync and have not posted here for months. UGH.

The photo above makes me laugh because if you look at mine and Shane's faces it looks like we are eating something- I was going to switch it out- but then I realized this is a story in itself. I would imagine that Shane and I were both eating some of Aunt's delicious sweet Easter bread. Something we only have at Easter and a recipe that has been passed down for generations. Easter bread and hot cross buns were things I can remember from my childhood that my mother used to make. Making the Easter bread is just another of the many traditions that my sister has picked up to carry forward.

I have mentioned it before but sometimes we have some new readers- so I will just add that the traditions in the Shaw family run deep. Holidays spent together often with the same food items on the table are part of our legacy.

Getting together in the days leading up to Easter we always colored eggs- and that tradition continues.

Liam, Chelsea, Jay, Cindy and my Dad were at our house on Wednesday afternoon to create our eggstatordinary masterpieces.

Lucky for me one of Colin's nurses, Sarah was working so she was able to assist Colin whom is not always overly enthusiastic about the process. Dad was there in just a supervisory role as I have no recollection of him ever coloring eggs while growing up. Jay also avoided participating in our artful expressions.

I have to say they are not the most imaginative this year, they are bright and beautiful but you might say- other than Liam's neon ones they are a bit basic. None the less we continued the family tradition, had some laughs, no spills! and we will all be eating hard boiled eggs for the next week. Liam had a head start eating two while working on coloring them. Needless to say that boy is growing.

And based on the photo up above the "hole in Papas hair" is growing as well.

I have no idea how old Chelsea was but there was one time she delivered those same words to my Dad- asking him- "Papa why does your hair have a hole in it back here?" when she was standing behind him. I'll see if Cindy or Chelsea can add any details to that after they read this.

Lucky for me Dad does not have a computer so he will not see this photo.

Shane was always game for the annual egg hunt as well. Cindy made sure as Shane got older to be sure and have a special extra lacy basket for Shane to use while hunting for the silly colorful plastic eggs across the yard.

This picture was taken the last Easter we shared with Shane- April 9, 2023.

This picture on the left is another one from Easter 2018 - when Liam was just joining in on the traditions. Shane was so thrilled when Liam arrived in this world- Shane held Liam before I did.

This is by far one of the very hardest parts of Shane dying at 21. This was a relationship that I have no doubt would have been one for the books. Shane would have been such a great teacher for Liam and I can only imagine the adventures they would have had together. This was going to be Shane's chance to pay it forward as Chelsea had always been there for Shane as he was growing up. Adventures in Honey Hollow among some of the best. Epic legendary Nerf battles. Lots of teasing, lots of laughter and above all else- lots of love for each other.

Shane had such a big heart and had so much patience with Liam- they were just beginning to embrace their love for trucks, Nerf guns, legos and Minecraft. I know in my heart that Shane provided Liam with a gift that he will have forever- and that is one about empathy. And I hope that Liam's lessons on death, loss and grief at such a young age will give him the tools to manage the big feelings thorughout his life. Experiencing not just the tremendous loss of Shane but also his GiGi- (great grandmother- my mother) the year before, Liam has already been asking some hard questions. His mother- Chelsea -and I answer them when they come with honesty and to the best of our ability. I believe when it comes to death- we need to talk about it more, open, honest and unapologetically- we are all connected through death. It is something that we all share- death does not discriminate based on skin color, age, race, religion, or political views.

I imagine that most everybody that is reading this today have lost people that they love. Today may be the first Easter that you are experiencing without them- all the firsts are extra tough but I will just say that the second is not any easier and for me the third carries the same weight. But I am stronger to carry it- the weight is not- nor will it ever be any less. So today when you gather for brunch or dinner- talk of them, tell stories, share memories, keep their legacies alive.

Keep their light shining- the light is there- even in the darkness. Hug the people you love just a little bit longer and make sure you tell them you love them, as we happen to know all too well- tomorrow is not promised.

oh and don't forget to take lot's of pictures and to all those mothers that always take the pictures- have someone take YOUR picture- these are from 2017- None in my camera roll that I was in.

Happy Spring everyone.