Seasons of Change Seasons of Love

Colin and I were at the cemetery last Sunday to visit with Nana and Shane and to change out the flowers for the season. This was the second time that I was delivering fall mums and pumpkins-- how is it possible that Shane has been gone from this earth for nearly two years?

Fall is such a beautiful time in New England as the magic from mother nature paints the trees in varying colors- cool nights so you can sleep well and warm days so that you can comfortably enjoy outdoor activities like apple picking in local orchards, attending fall festivals and enjoying fall sports. It was surely always a busy time in our household- Shane began playing soccer when he was 4 through the YMCAs program and continued to play on various Y teams until he went to Eaglebrook when he played on school teams and played up through his senior year at Deerfield Academy. Many days and weekends were devoted to cheering him on from the side lines - Colin certainly always one of his biggest fans. Colin may not have been able to say the words to cheer for his brother but there was no doubt that he was always happy to support him.

Driving by the Greenfield Swimming Pool when I see the kids of all ages practicing their skills it happily takes me back to wonderful memories. Supporting your kids in sports is not always easy but I am proud of the way we managed things as a family and that I was sure to attend every sporting event that I could. Our kids need to know that we believe in their abilities and that we support them. They deserve the opportunity to try new things and to make new friends.

Without a doubt the world can be a scary place, but we must continue to do our best to not live in fear. The what ifs will eat you alive and can become all consuming. I think I have played over every scenario I can think of in my head on what I could have done differently that may have kept Shane alive. Sadly I can not turn back time. You have all heard it before-

yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift that is why it is called the present

Much like the leaves that are changing- so aren't we. Most school age kids are now into their second month of school, a new classroom, a new teacher, perhaps even a new school. Families that have sent their kids off to college for the first time are adjusting to a new life without that child living at home. Some Mommas out there with heavy hearts as they sit back and watch their children struggle to find their way. Hoping and praying that their confidence will grow, that they will make that connection, that they will begin to feel as though they belong, that they will find their self confidence and will start to shine their light brightly. Change is hard. But we can do hard things.

I have been reminded a lot recently that people all around me are navigating hard things.

A friend recently lost their Mom very unexpectedly when she choked while eating her dinner, he and his siblings now navigate a world where they no longer have living parents and his kids no longer with a grandparent. Life as they knew it- forever changed.

Another friend losing their Dad just 13 days after bringing him into her home on hospice.

A former paraprofessional in Colin's world losing her battle to cancer. Those that were lucky enough to know Pam now only left with their memories. Wonderful memories from having been blessed by her special ways.

Over in Ireland Chrissie lost her brother and one of her best friends all in a weeks time. At 90 years old losing your friends and family is part of the deal. As much as you may feel blessed to still be living- its lonely to lose your people.

Another friends Mom choosing to stop the chemo and radiation for her cancer- instead wanting to enjoy whatever time she has left free from the miserable side effects she was enduring.

A coworker that lost her Dad after a period of declining health, a waiting game, knowing it was coming but the finality weighing heavy once his death came.

Another friend- diagnosed with lymphoma and starting the fight of their life on top of the fight they have already been enduring.

We do not know what anyone is carrying with them as they come in and out of our daily lives. I hope we can try to be a friend to all. If we are aware of challenges on peoples plates, can we offer assistance? When we know people are grieving can we offer them grace and also offer them compassion and listening ears. And all the people that we encounter and have no idea what burden they may be carrying- can we please offer them the benefit of doubt and meet them with a pleasant greeting or perhaps a simple smile. Life is hard, change is hard. But if we allow our friends and family to help us, the burden is less, the load is lighter. Please try to be there for each other. Keep looking for the light- it's always there. Each day we are lucky enough to be given is another opportunity to make good choices and to do good things.

To our friends I referenced above that are deep in the hard things right now, please know how much we love you.