Part Two: Celebrating the Life of an Amazing Young Man

Monday the 24th I had the pleasure of starting my day by meeting Robin at Cape Cod Coffee. Robin is a Food and Beverage Manager for New Seabury with her primary duties being at the Popponesset Inn. The Inn is where Shane worked the first summer he came down and lived with Grammie Lena. I kind of lose track of the years- but I think Shane worked for Robin four summers. Shane's cousin Zoe currently works at the Inn. I hope that Zoe feels Shane with her every day that she is there.

Robin was one of those people that Shane easily clicked with- he regarded her highly and had a deep appreciation for her management style. It was Robin that Shane reached out to when he decided to try to develop his own summer co-op for Northeastern. Robin was a huge support for Shane and he was deeply appreciative for her guidance and assistance.

It was such a pleasure for me to sit with Robin and talk about Shane but also just to learn more about each other- finding some similarities in our lives- including each finding our husbands in the restaurants we had worked at. Our other common bond was that we both missed Shane deeply. Robin shared a story of how just a couple days prior she had come around the corner at work to suddenly be seeing a young man that looked strikingly like Shane. He was of similar frame and build with brown hair- but today he happened to be wearing eyeglasses. She instantly teared up and told the young man that he could not wear his glasses when he was at work!

I can not tell you how much it warms and breaks my heart to hear these things.

Mike arrived on Monday afternoon - it was nice to all be back under one roof. After a quick lunch together he was off on his bike to visit his family just down the road. I decided spending the afternoon on the beach was where I should be. The sound of the ocean waves has always been something I enjoy- I find it to be very soothing. My father in law Jim- I could hear in my ear telling me to remember that the salt water heals everything- healing I could use.

For quite some time it was helping to get me into a better mental space- but all too soon the tears were once again streaming down my face. Not far down the beach from where I was sitting with my brother Jon and Kristen, there was a young family. A sweet little brown haired boy I would guess about 4 years old- was playing in the sand with his little shovel and a bright yellow dump truck. Instantly I was taken back to the hours spent on that very beach with Shane, Colin and Mike. Once again the reminder and awareness as to why I was there lay before me. Sometimes I do not even realize I am crying- it happens so often that most of the time I do not even notice.

I have to remind myself that where there is great grief- there was an even greater love.

The decision was made to have dinner at the Popponesset Inn- I once again could immediately feel Shane's spirit as I entered the building. We sat on the patio as we have done many times before over the years. Zoe was working so that was a bonus to our trip for dinner. We were joined by Lena and our friend Matt. Mike and Matt met on the cape over 40 years ago and have been friends ever since. Matt has been an incredible support to Mike, Colin and I since we lost Shane. For those of you that attended the funeral or viewed it- you may remember Mike's words- he spoke of a friend that told him we were in a storm at sea and that we needed to point the boat directly into the waves. We needed to take them head on- if you do not you may capsize and be lost at sea. The hope is to some day return to calmer waters. The friend that shared these thoughts with Mike- was Matt. It is an analogy that we have used often. And certainly in the days to come the seas were likely to get rough once more.

The Inn is another place that holds deep McCarthy history. Mike's Dad worked there as a bartender and later Mike and his brother Glenn worked in the kitchen there as well. For me the inn will always represent Shane's first real job and I will always be deeply grateful to Robin for giving Shane a chance.

Before the day ended we added another "family" member to the house. Our long time friend Craig arrived. Craig has a long history with Mike as well. At one point Craig, Mike and I all worked together at a place called Cafe Ashley in Hadley, MA. Craig is another one of those people that has been with us every step of the way. Text messages, phone calls, steadfast support- forever grateful for his love.

There was a lot of laughter shared on the patio that evening. Laughter for sure something we all needed. Tomorrow would be a day that I would have to focus- I still had a lot to do to bring my celebration plans for Shane to reality.

Tuesday the 25th

The sun was shining, the sky was blue and the water was nearly still- I was envious as I peered from the deck outside my bedroom of the beautiful morning that Jon and Kristen were enjoying on the beach- but today I had to focus- soooooo many pictures to go through still plus all the frames to fill for the tables in the ballroom and for the birthday table. I got to work- 5 hours later I was still working on them- it was hard for me to choose which pictures to NOT use. There were many breaks to be had as my sobbing kept stopping me in my tracks. Some tears of laughter seeing my silly little boy as he created salads for the Easter bunny, frolicked in the mud puddles after a summer storm, ate tubes of cookie dough from the fridge or made rabbit ears behind his cousin Tu-Tu (Chelsea)'s head in every photo he could. Tears of sadness as I prepared the summer board thinking of all the wonderful memories we had made on the cape as a family. And all the friendships he had already formed here on the Cape himself.

I had a few happy tears as I completed the winter board that showed some summer cape friends and families as ski buddies and hot tub pals as well. Not just a one season friendship.

I was sure to also add the photo that his friend Tripp sent me. Tripp's family has the home in Steamboat that was mentioned at Shane's funeral. The Hindle family is kind and generous and had welcomed Shane to their home on a couple different occasions. These trips were certainly highlights in Shane's life. When Tripp left after the funeral he asked for something he could take- I gave him a pair of Shane's ski gloves. Tripp and his family tied this pair of gloves to a young tree so that as it grows Shane will always be there and would have a beautiful view of the mountain.

The biggest flood of tears were when I came across Thanksgiving photos- the last time Shane was home, the last hugs and kisses I got from him, the last I love you I would ever hear. More harsh reality.

As the day came to an end I was hoping that I had covered enough, that all the relationships Shane had were represented. That all the connections, all parts of what made Shane who he was would be on display. My heart was heavy- throughout the course of the day I had traveled through 21 and 1/2 years of my baby's life. Oh how I was wishing that there could be more.