If you can't save time in a bottle, how about dirt and sand in a jar

This week has gone by quickly- we have been busy recovering from the flood in Colin's room. Which luckily did not require any demolition to it, the floors were dried and do not seem to have any buckle or bumps. The craft room below that took the overflow will require some serious work - but we are in no rush.

Saturday we enjoyed a family gathering with a cousin from Texas that we had not seen in many years. Grateful for that opportunity to spend time with Jay, his wife Suky and son Jarek. Time that was devoted to catching up with his family as well as his brother Duane, his wife Bethany and their daughters Athena and Mia as well as their mother my Aunt Ginger who is my Dad's sister in law.

Sunday was also a family day as we celebrated Father's Day with a BBQ at my sister Cindy's. Mike navigated the day the best he could, missing Shane in every second of the day. And Yes Mike and my Dad received their annual strawberry rhubarb pies .

I have been busy preparing for vacation- and for Shane's celebration of life on the cape- which is now officially just one week away.

The photo here- is in a way- time in a jar along with the dirt and the sand.

In a section of Shane's obituary we wrote :

"We like to say that Shane was part land and part sea. Growing up he loved spending time with his grandfather and his uncles learning to garden, attend to farm animals, assist with yardwork or visit his uncle on construction sites. His first trip to Cape Cod was when he was only a couple months old and spent time there every summer of his life."

At his burial we had vials containing dirt or sand from favorite parts of the land and the sea that helped form Shane into the man he was. Colin too is represented in much of this jar- although he has not been on quite all the beaches that are represented here.

As I put this jar together a couple days ago I clearly saw friends and family members as they emptied their vials of dirt or sand over Shane's casket. I remembered that our next door neighbor instead sprinkled leaves representing the hours she and Shane had spent raking in our backyards. And my brother sprinkling the sawdust representing the numerous hours Shane spent visiting him on construction sites and asking hundreds of questions. But I was also flooded with memories from the boys early years.

Shane was an outdoor kid- from sun up to sun down he preferred to be outside- well maybe until he got his Xbox. He could keep himself busy for hours just with a pile of dirt- or when on vacation he was content to dig in the sand for hours on end. I can so easily picture him in our yard, or in my parents gardens. Images of him assisting my brothers or being at my sisters are beautiful to remember. Shane was an excellent helper- most of the time more of a help than a hinderance, but his desire to always use adult size tools while helping often did not work as well as he had intended. He was so fortunate to grow up having such wonderful role models to show him the way. I think of it as his foundation, the land where he could plant his roots deeply so that he could continue to grow.

Our summer vacations to Cape Cod annually were the boys opportunity to spend time with their McCarthy relatives and friends of Grammie Lena and Grampie Jim and to meet many of Mike's longtime summer friends. There would be lots of time spent at the beach. countless games of mini golf, trips to the candy shop and of course for ice cream. Shane loved the Cape just as much as his father did - he too had made friends that would be there for the long haul. He enjoyed nights on many of the same beaches Mike and his brother Glenn had roamed when they were Shane's age.

The majority of the sand in the jar is from several different beaches on the Cape all of them in the general Mashpee/Popponesset area. The sand closest to the bottom is from Rock Landing Beach- the first beach that our boys spent time on, the same beach that The McCarthy family vacationed on for decades. Next week the house we are staying at is at Rock Landing Beach- a perfect place to be as we gather to remember Shane and celebrate him on his birthday. If the land represents the foundation for his roots, the sand and the sea represent the opportunity for his growth and independence, the place where he gained freedom and confidence, a place where he worked and he played. These beaches of the Cape will forever have a part of Shane at them. I hope when his friends gather on these beaches they will hear his laughter in the waves of the ocean and feel his spirit in the breeze.

Included in this jar is land from the lower field of Deerfield Academy where Shane played Ultimate Frisbee and soccer a place where Colin would go and watch his brother play- always playing the role of Shane's biggest fan. There is also sand from the beach of the river at Deerfield- a special spot that all DA kids love and a place that I visit to feel his spirit.

The week that lies ahead will be one of those rollercoaster rides for sure- I will continue to lean on my family. Mike, Colin and I will hold tightly to each other as we prepare to celebrate Shane's first heavenly birthday. I will look for the signs from Shane to stop my world from spinning and I will surround myself with Shane's friends, holding on to them tightly as they all carry a little part of Shane in them. I will trust that my baby will continue to keep me headed North.

This week I encourage you all to think about what you might put in your jar, where are the places that have helped bring you to where you are or who you are today- where are your roots planted?

And think about that phrase heard all too often- "it's not the years in your life, but the life in your years"- let's all try to make sure that we are truly living our lives.

Please send us strength and don't forget to wish Shane a happy birthday next Thursday- he'll be in the purple in those clouds, or the tickle from that breeze. Or perhaps Country Roads will come on the radio when you least expect it. He is everywhere- you just gotta believe.